DIAPERS FOR BRIDES

I've Never really thought about this before, but it's got to be REALLY tough for the bride to use the bathroom at her wedding. I'm thinking it's a five-bridesmaid job just holding up the dress to keep it from touching the water . . . or, even worse, the floor.

Well . . . according to "Marie Claire" magazine, there's a new bridal trend that's solving that problem: BRIDES WEARING DIAPERS.

Apparently, some bridal shops are recommending that women wear specially-made bridal diapers if their wedding dress takes 20 minutes to get in and out of.

Jennette Kruszka is a wedding dress expert . . . she says that if you are thinking about going with bridal diapers, quote, "Please wear it to your fittings so you can ensure the gown fits properly."

YOU WOULD SO HAVE TO PAY ME

We may be taking another step closer to that horrible-looking future where every single possible surface is covered in advertising.

Here's the latest. The state of California is considering switching its license plates from good old-fashioned convict-stamped metal license plates, to digital displays.

When you're driving, the digital display shows your license plate number. But when you're stopped for more than four seconds in traffic or at a red light . . . your license plate starts displaying ADVERTISING MESSAGES.

And of course, you don't get a cut of that. All the money will go to California . . . where the state legislature is still trying to figure out what the hell they're going to do about their $19 BILLION deficit.

On the good side, the digital plates could also display Amber Alerts if there's a kidnapping.

Right now, the state legislature is considering a bill that could start a research and testing phase on these license plates. There's no word on when they'd be implemented.

PARKAY?

Macaroni and cheese can be one of the most delicious foods on the planet. So I'm not saying I CONDONE mac and cheese-related violence . . . I'm just saying I understand.

Earlier this month, a 21-year-old and his 17-year-old sister were making mac and cheese in a small city in the middle of Washington called East Wenatchee. (--Neither of their names have been released.)

The brother asked his sister if she was using real butter, or margarine. She said margarine. Naturally he FLIPPED out, and yelled at her that only butter gives mac and cheese the proper taste.

The argument escalated until finally . . . it exploded, and the sister stabbed her brother IN THE NECK with the razor-sharp serrated edge of the spatula.

He was taken to the hospital and treated; she was arrested and charged with fourth-degree assault.

She was supposed to be in court last Wednesday but didn't show, so now there's a warrant out for her arrest.

STUPID VIDEO OF THE DAY

The website TruTV.com has a video of two guys getting into a fight at the DMV. Then the guy who wins does a ridiculous dance to celebrate. (--Search for "finishing moves DMV TruTV.com." He starts dancing at :49.)

Fight!