THE WHINE LINES!

Today was the whine lines! What do you wanna whine about?

ASK US ANYTHING

If you could ask Jinger and Izzy anything, what would you ask?

Immature Story Of The Day #1: Kermit Butts Admits That He Helped Kill Samuel Boob
I know this story involves a murder and we should be mature enough to give it the gravitas it requires . . . but we're not made of stone: A man with the last name "Butts" was arrested for the murder of a man with the last name "Boob." I mean, COME ON.

Last year, 29-year-old Samuel Boob of Centre Hall, Pennsylvania, was shot and killed. The police discovered that he was murdered by a man named Ronald Heichel . . . who was having an affair with his wife, Miranda Boob.

This week, the police discovered that 26-year-old Kermit Butts knew about the murder plan. . . and offered to help Heichel dispose of the body for $5,000. He's been charged with felony aggravated assault and hindering apprehension.

FIVE DIRTY THINGS YOU TOUCH!

Ready to have the urge to wash your hands 400 times in the next six hours? Here's a list of the five surfaces we touch every day that are totally and completely ENGULFED in germs.

#1.) PUBLIC MAGAZINES. Magazines in waiting rooms, on airplanes, and at libraries get passed around through tons of people's unwashed hands. Plus, since they've got dry surfaces, bacteria like E. coli can survive on them for months.

#2.) OFFICE KEYBOARDS. Your keyboard generally has about five times more germs as a PUBLIC TOILET SEAT. The little gaps between the keys are the perfect place for bacteria to live and grow.

#3.) THE GYM. A study a few years back found bacteria that could cause the cold virus on 73% of weights and 51% of aerobic equipment at the gym. Wash your hands VIGOROUSLY after you work out.

#4.) SHOPPING CARTS. In 2006, a study by the University of Arizona found that two out of every three shopping cart handles were contaminated with FECAL BACTERIA.

#5.) SUBWAY POLES. Basically, any surface you touch on public transportation is completely covered in germs and bacteria. Of all the things on this list, these are the MOST infected surfaces of all

DUDE JUMPS 39 STORIES, AND LIVES!

Apparently, God has big plans for 22-year-old Thomas Magill of Manhattan, New York. Because that's the ONLY explanation for why he's alive today.

On Monday, Thomas jumped off a 39-story high rise in Manhattan. He fell more than 400 feet. By the time he was close to the ground he was falling at 126 miles-per-hour. And . . . HE SURVIVED.

A 40-year-old named Guy McCormack had just parked his wife's Dodge Charger right in front of the building. So Thomas didn't hit the pavement . . . he crashed through the back windshield of the Charger and landed in the backseat instead.

And thanks to the Charger, he didn't die. In fact, all things considered, he got out of there cheap . . . with only a broken leg, a shattered ankle and a collapsed lung. He's in critical condition, but it looks like he's going to pull through.

The police won't say for sure WHY Thomas jumped. Apparently, he had posted something on Facebook beforehand saying, quote, "I hate my life" . . . so it looks like it was a suicide attempt.

According to the "New York Post", Thomas is an aspiring actor and has been working at DKNY and Club Monaco stores to make ends meet.

STUPID VIDEO OF THE DAY
A 64-year-old man is suing the police department for Tasing him THREE TIMES in his OWN HOME in Marin County, California (--which is just north of San Francisco). And they did it even though his wife told them he had a heart condition.

Police were originally called after the guy fell on his front steps. But then the officers determined he might be suicidal . . . so they threatened to TASE him if he didn't come for a psychiatric evaluation.