BAD JOKE FRIDAY!

It was your day to call in your bad jokes! You can still post them here if you wish! Or check us out on Facebook!

TEACHER OF THE DAY

Now it's time to recognize our Teacher of the Day . . . 40-year-old Sherri Davis of Houston.

Two weeks ago, Sherri was teaching Phys Ed at a place called Jamie's House Charter School when a group of students started picking on a mentally challenged girl, and making fun of the way she was dancing.

When she noticed what was going on, Sherri singled out one student . . . 13-year-old Isaiah Johnson . . . and started BEATING him in front of everyone. And I do mean beating, as in dragging him across the floor, slapping his face and kicking him.

Fortunately, one of the students had their cell phone, and they managed to catch the entire incident on tape.

According to Isaiah's mom, Alesha, quote, "He's had a knot on his head for a week. He had a black eye, bruises on his cheek . . . I'm horrified. I just can't believe something like that would happen to my child."

On Monday, school officials fired Sherri, saying there's, quote, "no excuse for a teacher to behave in this way with a child."

Now Alesha's filed a lawsuit against the school for an unspecified amount of money. It accuses school officials of negligence, and attempting to cover up the incident.

STUPID NAMES?

A study took place in the UK, but we think the results might be similar here in the States . . .

According to a new survey, ONE in FIVE parents regret the name they gave their kid.

19% say they gave their kid a "family name," just so relatives wouldn't get upset.

13% purposely went with a name that seemed quirky or unusual at the time, while 10% named their kid after their favorite celebrity.

15% of parents say their friends and family members make fun of the name they gave their kid. And ONE in TEN say they chose a name they thought was cool and clever at the time, but now the novelty has worn off and they hate it.

Overall, the six boy names that parents regret most are:

#1.) William

#2.) Oliver

#3.) Jack

#4.) Alfie (???)

#5.) Thomas

#6.) Joshua
And the six girl names that parents regret most are:

#1.) Chloe

#2.) Ruby

#3.) Olivia

#4.) Emily

#5.) Grace

#6.) Jessica

MILEY CYRUS LAP DANCE

Yesterday, in Jinger's show biz Ten After Show Biz Top Three, we told you about Miley Cyrus and her lap dance video.

As you recall, we heard that Miley was dancing with one of the film's producers . . . an openly gay man by the name of Adam Shankman. Miley's parents weren't there, and Miley was only 16 at the time.

Check it out at TMZ.COM.

STUPID VIDEOS OF THE DAY

A 13-year-old named Greyson Michael Chance performed the LADY GAGA song "Paparazzi" at his school's music festival, and he pretty much nailed it. You can tell just by looking at the faces of the teenage girls in the background.

FILL IN THE BLANK

Right now, I'd just really like a _____________! Liposuction, moving trucks, winning lotter tickets were all on top of the list. What about you?!

MOTHER OF THE YEAR?

Time for our "Mother of the Day," 24-year-old Jordan Hensley of good ol' Johnson City, Tennessee!

On Monday, Jordan was at the park with her 5-year-old son when she decided to teach him a lesson about smoking. So naturally, she stuck a lit cigarette in his mouth, and forced him to suck it down so he'd see how terrible it is.

Apparently, some other people saw what Jordan was doing, and they had a problem with it. Someone called the cops, and an officer pulled Jordan over a few blocks away.

Jordan admitted she made her son have a cigarette, but she said she was only, quote, "teaching him NOT to smoke."

Long story short, Jordan was arrested. And not just because she made the kid smoke. It turns out she got caught with a bag of weed in her car too. Somehow that doesn't surprise me.

She's been charged with child abuse and neglect, disorderly conduct, and drug possession.

STUPID VIDEO OF THE DAY

Volvo developed an automatic braking system, see if it's something you'd invest in.

WEIRD ENGAGEMENT!

Izzy's friend Steve, and his fiance' Amanda's parents were married two weeks ago. Yes, Steve's father, to Amanda's mother. They're now step brother and sister. Steve is weirded out by this scenario, and doesn't know if he wants to get married!

DEALS WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Jinger and her huband Jim, have an agreement. If Jim shaves his beard, she gets to cut her hair. It's long! Jim may have to shave in order to be fitted for a fresh air mask (for his job!) Jinger's using this oppurtunity to cut her hair! Do you have a similar aggrement with your spouse/significan other?

FAT PHOTOSHOP CELEBS

Yesterday, whilst perusing the web for muchkin pictures, I came across an amusing picture gallery.

Someone had used Photoshop to depict what various hot celebrities would look like if they had been BLESSED with a DELICIOUS CANDY COATING.

It includes altered pics of such stars as Paris Hilton, Megan Fox, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Sandra Bullock and more.

One of our favorite things to do is to photo fail or photo bomb people. It's a rush! Jason Reed is actually one the *best* bombers, check out our attempts at the Little Black Dress Party last night.

If you have any photo bombs, share them with us, we would love to see them. If you aren't failing/bombing photos, allow us to encourage you heartily to embark on this fiesty path of hilarity. It will change your life.

I am not going to post anything else today after this. You cannot, ever, top our treasured troops who not only risk everything to protect our hides but, also entertain us with a hilarious spoof the Lady Gaga/Beyonce "Telephone" video. Oh, yes... you must watch. Carlton from "Fresh Prince" has been reborn in the soldier that swings it like mad. Watch his face!!! AHAHHHAHAHHA!! Love it!

A cat Attacked a Babysitter to Defend a Baby!

Security camera footage of a cat attacking a babysitter when it thinks the kid is trouble!! There's no audio but, you can tell what's going on!

As Heard on the Show: Can Old Wives Tales Predict Your Baby's Sex?

Who hasn't heard just about a million old wives' tales about how to predict your unborn baby's sex. But are any of them true? A writer for NewScientist.com who's pregnant decided to do some research. Check it out...

OLD WIVES' TALE #1.) BAD MORNING SICKNESS MEANS IT'S A BOY. Actually, the opposite might be true. In 1999, doctors in Sweden analyzed the records of over 8,000 women they treated for morning sickness.

--55.7% had girls, and only 44.3% had boys. Compare that to the general population. Overall, 51.4% of the babies born in Sweden are boys. And a separate study in Denmark had similar statistics.

--But here's something else they found that's even weirder. SINGLE MOTHERS with morning sickness were even MORE likely to have girls. Only 40% of them had boys.

OLD WIVES' TALE #2.) IF THE BABY HAS A FAST HEARTBEAT, IT'S A GIRL. According to this one, if the baby's heart rate is higher than 140 beats per minute, you're having a girl.

--But researchers used an ultrasound to measure the heartbeats of 477 babies in their first trimester, and there wasn't much of a difference. The average heart rate for girls was 152 beats per minute, and the average heart rate for boys was 155.

--Plus, it changes depending on what stage of pregnancy you're in. At the beginning of a pregnancy, the baby's heart rate is between 170 and 200 beats per minute. Then by the second trimester, it's drops to between 120 and 160 beats per minute.

--The only time there IS a difference is during labor. Baby girls tend to have faster heart rates than boys do, but no one knows why.

OLD WIVES' TALE #3.) WEIRD FOOD CRAVINGS MEANS IT'S A BOY. This one actually has a LITTLE science to back it up, but still it's probably just a myth.

-Researchers in Boston found that pregnant women with big appetites have boys more often. But they didn't say anything about women who crave WEIRD food.

--And the problem is, it's hard to know if you have a bigger appetite than other women because ALL pregnant women eat more than they usually do.

OLD WIVES' TALE #4.) WOMEN JUST KNOW. Some women say their "female intuition" can predict the baby's sex. And guess what . . . they might be right.

--In 1998, researchers at the University of Tucson asked 108 pregnant women to predict the sex of their baby. 60% guessed right. Of course, the chances of guessing right are fifty-fifty anyway, so it's not THAT amazing.

OLD WIVES' TALE #5.) THE SHAPE OF THE BUMP. The myth is, if you're carrying the baby high, it's a boy, if you're carrying the baby low, it's a girl. But there's really nothing to back this one up either.

--The only thing that can predict a baby's sex with CLOSE to 100% accuracy is a sonogram. They're 95% accurate.

(NewScientist.com)

Monday Morning Mailbag:

A man she's been dating for a while and was getting serious with secretly devours every book in the "Twilight" series. She is considering dumping him since she thinks this makes him less than manly and she also detests anything Twilight. What should she do??

Office Stank!

When our office stinks is usually because Izzy has purchased yet another bottle of prank stank off the internet. Or, someone's burned the popcorn (again!). What stinks up your place of work?

DUDE, THIS REALLY HAPPENED!

We're just going to give this you the facts, straight-up, on this one . . . since there's no way we could say anything to make this story seem any MORE insane.

Pearl Carter is a 72-year-old retired woman living in Indianapolis, Indiana. Back when she was 18, she had a daughter with her boyfriend . . . and her parents, who were strict Catholics, made her give the baby up for adoption to keep the family name clear.

That daughter was named Lynette. In 1983, Lynette gave birth to a son, named Phil. Lynette died of brain cancer when Phil was 18 . . . and, at that point, he had no real family left . . . so he decided to try to hunt down his biological grandparents.

Phil spent three years tracking down his grandmother and, in 2006, he met Pearl. Now here's where the story takes the punch-you-in-the-face surprise twist.

When 23-year-old Phil and his 68-year-old grandma Pearl met for the first time, there was instant chemistry, like, nasty PHYSICAL CHEMISTRY .

Pearl says, quote, "From the first moment, I knew we would never have a grandmother-grandson relationship. For the first time in years I felt sexually alive." Phil agreed, quote, "I wanted to kiss her there and then."
Obviously, they both thought their feelings were WRONG . . . until friend of Pearl's told her about something called Genetic Sexual Attraction. That's a phenomenon that can occur when two close relatives meet for the first time as adults.

Once Pearl and Phil read about GSA, they decided their feelings were OK after all, and moved in together. Last year, they decided to have a baby. Since Pearl is way past her baby-making prime, they spent more than $50,000 to inseminate a surrogate.

They used Phil's DNA, but a stranger's egg, so the baby won't have an inbreeding mutation like flippers or anything.

Don't Move to McGrath, Alaska!

Most of us are paying somewhere in the neighborhood of $3 bucks for a gallon of gas. That is unless you live in McGrath, Alaska. Residents in the remote town about 415 miles northwest of Anchorage just watched the price at the only pump in town skyrocket from $6 bucks a gallon to $9.20 a gallon overnight! Crowley Petroleum Distribution says it was forced to raise the price because the winter nearly drained the town's supply, and the only option was to fly in more fuel. And that apparently wasn't cheap to do. Gasoline usually is shipped in on a barge but Crowley says it won't be able to send a barge until June at the earliest. But even in small towns like McGrath, technology on the internet rules and the town's 400 residents have formed an anti-Crowley Facebook page and are trying to boycott the company while city officials look for ways to get cheaper fuel.

Miracle Man?

Scientists in India are studying an 82-year-old man who claims he has not had any food or drink for 70 years. Prahlad Jani is undergoing tests at a hospital in Ahmedabad, where he is being closely monitored and studied by India's Defense Research Development Organization, which believes he may have a quality which could help save lives. And while it seems like an obvious lie, so far Jani has spent seven days without food or water under the strict observation of doctors who say his body is yet to show any signs of hunger or dehydration. Mr. Jani calls himself a "breatharian" who can live a "spiritual life-force" alone. He believes he is sustained by the "elixir" of a goddess. Dr. G. Ilavazhagan said, "If his claims are verified, it will be a breakthrough in medical science. We will be able to help save human lives during natural disasters, high altitude, sea journeys and other natural and human extremities. We can educate people about the survival techniques in adverse conditions with little food and water or nothing at all." Of course others aren't so quick to believe. Leading Australian nutritionist, Dr. Joanna McMillan Price, said the study was a dangerous and pointless exercise. She also said she couldn't see Jani lasting any more than a few extra days without water and said his fasting gave the wrong message.

STUPID VIDEO OF THE DAY

This chubby baby is sliding across the floor, BUT, the best part, the NOISE!

WHAT TWO THINGS DO NOT GO TOGETHER

Peanut Butter and mayo! Tuna and your breath! Toe nails and match heads?! Seriously, someone said that.

Check Out Megan Fox Looking Completely Unglamorous

Here's something you don't see every day: MEGAN FOX out in public looking completely unglamorous.

Even without doing a thing to beautify herself, she's still hotter than 99% of the women on Earth. But it's worth checking out, since this is about as unattractive as she gets.

Sandra Bullock Has Filed For Divorce . . . And Unveiled A New Adopted Son

There was a ton of big news out of SANDRA BULLOCK'S camp yesterday.

First off, she announced that she filed for divorce from JESSE JAMES . . . after just under five years of marriage.

Believe it or not, Sandra unveiled even BIGGER news: She has an adopted son. (???)

His name is Louis Bardo Bullock. He's three and a half months old, and he was born in New Orleans. Sandra and Jesse brought him home in January, and were somehow able to keep it a secret.

They actually began the adoption process four years ago. But Sandra is now finalizing the adoption process as a single parent.

Sandra snagged the cover of "People" with her big news. She told the magazine, quote, "He's just perfect, I can't even describe him any other way. It's like he's always been a part of our lives."

As for her decision to divorce, Sandra said, quote, "I'm sad and I am scared."
(E! Online says that the necklace Louis is wearing in the photo was made by Jesse's 6-year-old daughter Sunny . . .)

STUPID VIDEO OF THE DAY!

Here's a sheep in England named Mildred that can surf all by herself. She just needs someone to pull her out on a surfboard and let her go.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2951331/Ewe-wont-believe-this.html?OTC-RSS&ATTR=News